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Proud to be included in the Top 50 Coach Listing in CV Magazine December 2017 issue!

Should I Stay or Should I go – Christmas Party Season Approaches

Posted 13/11/2017

For many of us, Christmas is a time of joy and excitement, a warm buzz of anticipation and a sense of family or community fills us and we feel good about life.

For some people though, Christmas looms like a problem to be solved.  And not always the entire thing…just elements of it.  For example, you may love the gift giving and receiving, the atmosphere of love and wellbeing…but loathe the more social side of the season.

The biggest trigger for a crisis of seasonal confidence is of course the “Work Christmas Party”.  The annual get together of everyone at your place of work – perhaps with their partners – it sounds lovely to many people and let’s be honest, it can be a huge amount of fun.  But it can also be an intimidating and uncomfortable experience for anyone with confidence issues.

We tend to ‘place’ people in our lives – there are boxes for family, for friends, for people we dislike, for people we love or have loved…and you can have a box for work colleagues too.  It makes sense…they are a group of people who you spend a HUGE amount of your life with but for the most part but are not people who you would choose to spend any time with if there was no exchange of salary or wages involved.  There is no shame in that.

So with this in mind, it isn’t hard to understand why those who feel less confident than others might find this a difficult event to attend.  Many avoid it altogether, many are dragged along by their peers and some push themselves to go and make the best of it because they feel they should.

By now, I’m pretty sure that the majority of Christmas parties have been organised and there will be much excitement for lots of people as they plan what they will wear, who they will sit with for the meal, who is going to hook up with who etc.  But for those of you who are still sat on the fence about going, maybe have refused to go or are going under sufferance, I want you to know this…..

I have been all three of these people.  I have avoided parties that I could not face, I have waited until the last minute to make up my mind because I was too scared to go but didn’t want to miss out and I have been dragged along to parties that I knew I did not want to be at – all in the name of Christmas.  But as I look back now I can see clearly that the most important element of that annual dliemma should have been for me to do what I felt was right for me.  Not what I felt I should do to fit in, or to be popular.

So if you don’t want to go, don’t go.  If you aren’t sure, and you can leave it and see how you feel nearer the time, go for it.  And do not let anyone drag you against your better judgement.  There.  It’s said.

BUT – if you do want to go but feel you can’t because you aren’t cool enough, or funny enough, or thin enough, or tall enough or just not enough – then I want you to look at yourself through kinder eyes.

If you want to go – go.

Beacuse the honest truth is that you are perfect.  You are wonderful.  You are unique and brilliant and you deserve to enjoy your Christmas every bit as much as those people around you.

Christmas isn’t just for skinny, funny, tall and clever people.  Christmas is about spending time with people that we care about.  Christmas is about enjoying ourselves.  Christmas is for everyone who wants to feel it…and that includes you.

"I have tried other coaches in the past but found that working with Abi over Skype was so much more convenient for me than face to face meetings. Abi has really helped me to understand what I want to get out of my life - especially my career and has helped me focus on how to achieve my ambitions. She is friendly, approachable and very easy to talk to. She was honest about what she felt I needed and when she felt I was ready to stop having sessions. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend Abi"  Dawn, January 2018

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